About Freedom

How would you define freedom? Is it the ability, financially and timely, to do whatever, whenever, and however you want? Or is it a state of mind that allow you to do whatever, whenever and however beyond any judgment and boundaries?

I was always obsessed about freedom, about being free. That is why I was always a rebel, ever since and still. I would do anything that most people would not do. In short, don’t ever tell me what not to do, because most likely I would do it. Back then, I thought being able to do whatever I wanted is freedom.

Then my life entered working phase, where I am bound to a company in a contract, per letter and legally bound. Routines to go to work from 8 to 5 (more often more than 5), working the job assigned, discussing everything about and related to the scope of work, troubleshooting and suddenly ‘freedom’ (as I had it figured) had left the stage.

Few years gone by and still bound to the company. But later on, another priority set in. And the cat game is on. I would have this another priority to be the first priority than my job. My management skill is proven well that time. And I thought I was getting my ‘freedom’ back.

And when I thought I was a free man, I had my confidence up to the sky above, something hit me hard and successfully dropped me way down back to earth. That something was my own choice. The choice that only proved I am strapped on this very world (read: judgments and boundaries).

I lost my confidence. But I have to live with the choices that I’ve made. We all have to, right? And so I live. Losing everything, but manage to ‘enjoy’ every single lost and the pain, I have to say, is addictive!

Freedom is out of my frame since I made that choice. And I wouldn’t dare to even imagine about freedom anymore. But life always finds its way to make joke of its player.

By pure instinct, I applied to government employment. And got accepted, which means job security and free times are at my disposal. In the other hand, I am granted full liberty by the company I work for now on my working time and place. It’s like another forms of ‘freedom’ are teasing me now.

Freedom in terms of more free times if ever I decide to work for the government. Freedom in terms of working in any hour and any place I want, which I already have. And it’s kind of funny, how I can’t found the definition of ‘being able to do whatever’ in this kind of freedom but I do feel a little freedom now.

The freedom has a completely different face now. It’s not about doing whatever I want or having the state of mind beyond any judgment and boundaries. It’s more about being able to see everything as it is and do everything in its accordance, moment per moment. Free to be completely who I am and able to held a full responsibility of what I do. That's all I got up until now. About freedom.